News Groups or NG's on the web are a wide open collection of emial from anyone with a computer and a modem. Most all browsers
suport their use and some speciality programs can be very usefull to help sort throught all the messages. Because they are for the most
part completly unregulated, you will find the best and the worst of the web on them. As far as swinging is concerned the most used at the moment
is alt.sex.swingers. There are a number of couples who make a regular pratice of answering sincer question posted by swingers.
You can place an ad for what or how you are looking for, browse the other ads. Even post a picture of yourself! Mostly we have found the best way to
gain acceptance and start a dialoge with the real members of the group is to post a responce to a question or thread that intrests you.
You must know going in that for the last six months or so a lot of the sites that have sex in the NG site have been overwelmed with comercial posts for everything
from get rich schems to live sex video sites. Therefore there is a lot of sifting throught the dirt ot B.S. for the diamonds. However if you are traveling and need info
about a club you have heard of or would like to see if there is one near your destination, the NG may help. Need info about a swingers convention or travel destination this is worth the work.
The following is one of the better posts I have seen. It was written in responce to a semi-spam post about lifestyles online.
Re: Hot to get into SWINGING! ("BillB"
Not a bad SPAM for Lifestyle Online since the information is very accurate
and true. However, Sexy Gal left out that not all communities have beaches
--- nude or otherwise nearby. Instead, many communities have swinger
social dances or on-premise clubs. I suggest locating a social dance in
your area and contacting the owners of the dance and start your discussion
there. They will answer many of your questions in a very non-threating way
and help you decide if the lifestyle is for you. Then attend one of the
dances. Do only what you are comfortable and remember that at these
functions, "NO" always means "NO."
There is an old saying I've learned that is very true... "It's the husband
who wants to get into swinging...It's the wife that keeps the couple
there." This is because it provides an openness and sexual freedom that
very few women ever get the chance to have in their lifetime. When they
finally see that their husband is excited by her having fun, it just adds
icing on the cake.
There are several WEB sites with fairly accurate social club listings
available. Find one and start asking questions. Most swingers are so
excited about the advantages and pleasures they have discovered, they
really want to spread the good news around.
However, a few of my cautious thoughts / opinions...
Swinging makes a good marriage great. There has to be a big level of trust
and mutally empathy existing before you begin. In other words, each spouse
has to derive pleasure from seeing the other one happy. Swinging most
likely makes a bad marriage worst. It is not a route to take to repair a
distressed relationship.
Picture yourself and feel the emotions you would have if your spouse is
playing with someone else. Picture it if you were watching...and if you
were not present. Then determine if you would be jealous and if so, if
with their help and talk, you could work through it. All swingers I know
experience jealousy every now and then. It's the one's that can control it
and then work on it that derive the most benefits. Remember, to work
through it however, takes a team effort and talking about why you got
jealous. My wife and I just go and find the other one for a long hug and
kiss when we get those feelings and are glad we get them occasionally. If
we didn't, we might start worrying about OUR relationship.
Don't forget to be understanding when your spouse has jealousy feelings.
Especially if they are different or caused from different circumstances
then you.
Always practice safe sex. If the couples you meet do not normally practice
safe sex, don't worry. We have NEVER had sex with friends that complained
when we insisted on condoms. In fact, they now know and actually wait for
us. We always carry our own condoms and never expect anyone else to bring
them on their own. It's also fun to use lubrication products with condoms
and prevents a lot of the discomfort levels you might have. Never use oil
based lubrication products with latex condoms only water based.
Men, don't always expect to be able to perform. There is a lot of anxiety
when you first start in the lifestyle. You may have smoked more then
usual, drunk more then usual and be more nervous then usual. All of this
can effect erections and performance. Don't worry about it. It happens to
all men. If they say it never happens, they're lying. Also, sex is not
the end all and penetration is never a requirement. Learn expert oral and
finger techniques and practice them with your primary lover often.
(Practice makes perfect and is a lot of fun)
Also, many of the women in the lifestyle are bi. We have found that being
a straight wife is unusual. But don't pressure your wife into making love
with another woman if she isn't interested. Many of the bi-wives have just
as much fun with you and understand.
Don't expect the two of you to be attracted to another couple as a couple.
The man might adore the other wife while your wife may be totally turned
off by her husband. That is ok, but let each other know how you feel and
then plan around it. Do what you feel comfortable with and let your
feelings be know! Everytime one of us did something for the other we were
not comfortable with, neither of us enjoyed the results. However, when one
of us spoke our pleasures...we always wound up having the greatest of
times.
Just a little advice from our experience.
It would be great if other experienced swingers could add to this
conversation. More threads like this will overwelm the SPAMMERS on this
newsgroup.
Bill and Becky
Tell bill & Becky what you thought of there post by email.