News Groups

News Groups or NG's on the web are a wide open collection of emial from anyone with a computer and a modem. Most all browsers suport their use and some speciality programs can be very usefull to help sort throught all the messages. Because they are for the most part completly unregulated, you will find the best and the worst of the web on them. As far as swinging is concerned the most used at the moment is There are a number of couples who make a regular pratice of answering sincer question posted by swingers.

You can place an ad for what or how you are looking for, browse the other ads. Even post a picture of yourself! Mostly we have found the best way to gain acceptance and start a dialoge with the real members of the group is to post a responce to a question or thread that intrests you.

You must know going in that for the last six months or so a lot of the sites that have sex in the NG site have been overwelmed with comercial posts for everything from get rich schems to live sex video sites. Therefore there is a lot of sifting throught the dirt ot B.S. for the diamonds. However if you are traveling and need info about a club you have heard of or would like to see if there is one near your destination, the NG may help. Need info about a swingers convention or travel destination this is worth the work.

The following is one of the better posts I have seen. It was written in responce to a semi-spam post about lifestyles online.

Re: Hot to get into SWINGING! ("BillB" , 13:12)

Not a bad SPAM for Lifestyle Online since the information is very accurate and true. However, Sexy Gal left out that not all communities have beaches --- nude or otherwise nearby. Instead, many communities have swinger social dances or on-premise clubs. I suggest locating a social dance in your area and contacting the owners of the dance and start your discussion there. They will answer many of your questions in a very non-threating way and help you decide if the lifestyle is for you. Then attend one of the dances. Do only what you are comfortable and remember that at these functions, "NO" always means "NO." If husbands are having a hard time convincing their wives, then see if she will agree to a dinner or drink meeting with a representative of the social (the owners or they will delegate an understanding couple) to discuss it. No successful social will pressure you or your wife. And Sexy Gal's comments about swining is not all about sex is very true! It's about establishing long term friendships that are closer then any realtionships my wife and I have ever made. Even with couples we have never had sex with.

There is an old saying I've learned that is very true... "It's the husband who wants to get into swinging...It's the wife that keeps the couple there." This is because it provides an openness and sexual freedom that very few women ever get the chance to have in their lifetime. When they finally see that their husband is excited by her having fun, it just adds icing on the cake.

There are several WEB sites with fairly accurate social club listings available. Find one and start asking questions. Most swingers are so excited about the advantages and pleasures they have discovered, they really want to spread the good news around.

However, a few of my cautious thoughts / opinions...

Swinging makes a good marriage great. There has to be a big level of trust and mutally empathy existing before you begin. In other words, each spouse has to derive pleasure from seeing the other one happy. Swinging most likely makes a bad marriage worst. It is not a route to take to repair a distressed relationship.

Picture yourself and feel the emotions you would have if your spouse is playing with someone else. Picture it if you were watching...and if you were not present. Then determine if you would be jealous and if so, if with their help and talk, you could work through it. All swingers I know experience jealousy every now and then. It's the one's that can control it and then work on it that derive the most benefits. Remember, to work through it however, takes a team effort and talking about why you got jealous. My wife and I just go and find the other one for a long hug and kiss when we get those feelings and are glad we get them occasionally. If we didn't, we might start worrying about OUR relationship.

Don't forget to be understanding when your spouse has jealousy feelings. Especially if they are different or caused from different circumstances then you.

Always practice safe sex. If the couples you meet do not normally practice safe sex, don't worry. We have NEVER had sex with friends that complained when we insisted on condoms. In fact, they now know and actually wait for us. We always carry our own condoms and never expect anyone else to bring them on their own. It's also fun to use lubrication products with condoms and prevents a lot of the discomfort levels you might have. Never use oil based lubrication products with latex condoms only water based.

Men, don't always expect to be able to perform. There is a lot of anxiety when you first start in the lifestyle. You may have smoked more then usual, drunk more then usual and be more nervous then usual. All of this can effect erections and performance. Don't worry about it. It happens to all men. If they say it never happens, they're lying. Also, sex is not the end all and penetration is never a requirement. Learn expert oral and finger techniques and practice them with your primary lover often. (Practice makes perfect and is a lot of fun)

Also, many of the women in the lifestyle are bi. We have found that being a straight wife is unusual. But don't pressure your wife into making love with another woman if she isn't interested. Many of the bi-wives have just as much fun with you and understand.

Don't expect the two of you to be attracted to another couple as a couple. The man might adore the other wife while your wife may be totally turned off by her husband. That is ok, but let each other know how you feel and then plan around it. Do what you feel comfortable with and let your feelings be know! Everytime one of us did something for the other we were not comfortable with, neither of us enjoyed the results. However, when one of us spoke our pleasures...we always wound up having the greatest of times.

Just a little advice from our experience.

It would be great if other experienced swingers could add to this conversation. More threads like this will overwelm the SPAMMERS on this newsgroup.

Bill and Becky
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