Often we suggest new couples attend a social for their first swingers event because of the low key nature of the social club. The social gives you a chance to meet others in the lifestyle in a setting that is very comfortable. Have you ever been to a wedding reception? That is exactly what a social looks like. The only difference is that everyone there is planning on swinging or has thought about it. Like the wedding reception there will be couples of most all descriptions, ages, sizes. and walks of life. Most couples fall into the 30 to 45 age range and look like most 30 to 45 yearold people. Not all swingers are Ken and Barbie as a matter of fact they are the minority.
Continuing the wedding analogy, a social may have a theme. Besure and check with the host and hostess before hand as you don't want to miss this. There will either be a cash bar or mixers at a BYOB social. There is always music by a DJ or jukebox, and a dance floor. Like the wedding reception there are lots of tables set up for sitting and talking. There will be a few special dances, usually at least three. The first is an everyone dances and is usually early on and you should get up and dance for that one. Second is the ladies only and that seems pretty clear. Third is a spoon dance. Men get a wooden spoon women another type and you dance untill you are tapped with a spoon then you have to find another partner. Sounds easy, the only catch is you don't want to get cought with a spoon when the music stops. There is a penality, which depends on the club, some money ( a quarter ) some an article of clothing. Don't worry unless you are only wearing a dress with nothing on under it and dance without shoes and wear no jewelery, no one gets too naked unless they plan it!
It's pretty simple you either ask them to dance or join them at their table if there are seats open. The spoon dance is a chance to dance with a lot of different people as no one wants to get cought with a spoon, try and remember who cut-in to dance with you that may be a sign of interest. Like meeting people anywhere eye contact is always a possible sign, well unless you wear a really bad rug. :-) As for asking and being asked to dance becareful of the use of no as it is a really special word in the lifestyle. If you tell someone "No thank you" that really means "don't ask me again"! If thats what you mean then fine, couples in the lifestyle know that everyone is not atracted to everyone and there is no hard feelings. But is you mean "not right now" say so.
All socials will have members who are volentering part of their time at the social to help out. Part of their job is to make sure everyone is having a good time. They will come around to new couples and check to see if you have any questions or if there is another couple you'd like to be introduced to. All couples wear nametags with both partners names on them, new couples will have a colored dot on their nametag. The volenters can sometimes get a little pushy if you sit in the same spot all night and don't get up and dance as they are trying to help you enjoy yourself. All couples will be very friendly to new couples also as they once wore the dot. Don't be afraid to ask questions of others as that's they only way to learn anything.
Last things. Guys don't drink too much it affects preformance! After the dance is over around 12:00 most of the couples move up to the floor or building of reserved rooms. Most all clubs have a room or two set aside for a hospitiality suite with some food, soft drinks, and coffee. As the floor or building is kept clear of people not attending the social the dress will get more casual, most women change into some form of lingere and men into robes.